Shelter from the Storm

I keep thinking that I need to write more, but my motivation has been very sadly lacking. So, in an effort to give myself a kick in the pants and also come up with new material, I asked my friends on Facebook to provide one-word writing prompts. I explained that I would choose one (randomly) daily (or at least several times a week), do a timed-writing based on the word, then (hopefully) pull a nugget of something interesting from that, and write a blog post. I also mentioned that while some of the posts might be good, it's entirely likely that many will be utter garbage. But that's what practice is for, right? Right. 

Anyway, my peeps came up with nearly 300 one-word prompts (!). Ahem. This is the first post. 

The prompt was Thunderstorms (submitted by Meredith Moomaw, with whom I waited out many thunderstorms during many summer swim seasons!).

The timed writing resulted in a lot of words that had absolutely nothing to do with thunderstorms. But that's how it works. What you start with might be nowhere near what you end with. And it's all good. 

Or it's crap. 

Thankfully it's also subjective!

So, here goes...

Shelter from the Storm

Last week, I spent time with old friends on Cape Cod. It was a glorious respite from my daily existence and I was so grateful for the trip, the people, the place, and the entire experience. Just after we arrived, because of Hurricane Dorian bearing down on the east coast, the weather turned from warm and sunny to windy, grey, and wet. I love storms and given how far Provincetown, MA is from the Bahamas, I wasn't too concerned that it would be serious. Neither were the natives. And it wasn't. 

But it did change the view.

The beautiful serene blue bay, seen from my friend's house, turned choppy and gunpowder grey.

There were several small boats moored in the bay not far off his dock - sailboats, motor boats, and even a sweet red rowboat. Anchored, they stayed put, but the winds and rain battered and bashed them about. They bounced on the waves, remaining tethered.

I feel like that a lot - battered and bashed, but tethered. 

But being tethered isn't the same as being safe; it isn't the same as being sheltered from the storm. It simply means that your movements are restricted. The storm might not blow you away; it might not drown you... but you're out in it. 

You're out in it. 

On our last day on the Cape, my friend's husband left to fetch his mother from her home, hundreds of miles away, and bring her back to the beautiful house on the bay. My friend told me that although he is used to traveling a lot for work himself, he feels off-kilter when his husband is gone. They have been together nearly 30 years. It is so clear that they love each other. And with that sweet statement, I realized that my friend's husband is his shelter from the storm. He is my friend's safe place to come home to. My friend is not tethered; not restricted in movement... he might spend time out in the storm, but he has a place to come back to. And in that place - that person - he is safe. He is sheltered. 

I thought about what constitutes shelter from the storm for others... 

For children, it's most often their parents. I know I certainly tried (and still do) to be that for my daughter. It can also, to a lesser degree, be a favorite blanket or toy - something that can soothe when pain or fear or fatigue have taken hold. 

For adults, home is often their literal and figurative shelter. Home should be a place to feel safe and protected from the world. Unfortunately, I've never really felt that about the homes I've lived in. I suppose the closest I came was when I was at my Aunt Jean's house - it was the place where everything was warm and happy; where there was nothing but laughter and love and good food. In many ways, when I was young, she was my shelter. But she is gone now and nothing remains.

For many, like my friend, shelter is a person - a partner or a spouse (or a favorite aunt). My ex-husband never felt like shelter to me. He was more a lean-to, built of flimsy twigs. Family and friends can be shelter, and I certainly have the most wonderful people in my life... but they all have their own families and they're all shelter to others. Children, in my opinion, can't be shelter for their parents. It's not their job, nor should it be, to make a parent feel safe. It is meant to work the other way around.

For a lot of people, their god is their shelter; their faith protects them from the storm. I don't believe in any gods (though I can often see how it would be nice to have faith in a higher power. Unfortunately, that's not a switch I can just flip). 

For others, their work can be shelter. People who are living their mission and expressing their passion through their work can find protection there from Life's storms. In my work, I only see the storms. In some cases, I wind up being shelter for another. And the umbrella simply isn't big enough to cover two. 

I met a homeless man once who had virtually nothing to his name, but he had a dog. And he loved her. And she loved him. And I truly believe she was his shelter from the storm. I love my pets like mad, and heaven knows they make my life infinitely better than it would be without them, but their power is somewhat limited. And when they leave us - and they always leave us - the pain is so great that we learn to shelter our own hearts against the inevitable.

I realized I don't have shelter from the storm. 

And that's not meant to sound like a great tragedy. I have so many wonderful things in my life and much to be grateful for (and grateful I am!). It's simply a realization I've just come to. Writing, like therapy, will do that - make you realize stuff you probably need to know but kind of wish you didn't. 

In history, in great literature, in music, movies, television, and most certainly on Instagram and Facebook, shelter is nearly always found in love. I absolutely see it in my family and friends' relationships, both long term and new. 

I might never have that. 

(And that's OK.)

So I'm left wondering... can one be one's own shelter from the storm? 

And if one can, just how does one go about it? 

XO,