Mission Control
I just watched a Martha Beck webinar on finding your mission.
I want to believe I have a mission in life. I want to believe I'll find it before I die... like, years before I die, so I can actually fulfill it and not just lay back on my deathbed lamenting. "Well, shit. I really missed that boat!"
Martha says we're all probably already living our mission in some way, as it's in our nature (from birth) to gravitate toward it.
Yeah. Unless my mission is pinning house plans on Pinterest, I'm thinking I'm not living it yet.
She also uses the "Three N" method for figuring it out:
1) Notice what brings joy to your sensibilities; notice what "lights you up."
2) Narrow that field; look for the brightest light.
3) Name it (if you feel the need).
Sounds simple, right? Sounds like the advice every life/career coach gives.
My problem, though, is that all my lights are pretty dim these days. It's true. Let me list a few of the things that have "lit me up" lately:
1) Binge-watching 'Hoarders' on Netflix
2) Spending way too much money at the book fair (sometimes on duplicate books because I forgot I bought them last month) (and no, I am not a hoarder and my book issue has absolutely nothing to do with my Netflix binge. I swear. It's true. Shut up)
3) Making lists of all the things I need to do and then putting those things into my planner... only to ignore them
Not much of a mission in that list, eh? Well, unless my mission is to completely fail at Life... then I think I'm golden, man!
I saw this quote a while ago and it really resonated with me. It's simple... but easy to forget (or even fail to realize). If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree.
I'm not, in fact, rooted in an unhappy place or space...
And I don't think I want to be. But the truth is, I can't say I've been happy about where I am for, well, ever.
And whose fault is that? Hmmm, Diane? Whose fault is that?
It's true, I have been experiencing a fair amount of existential angst of late... about my life and what I'm doing with it; about what makes me happy (and/or miserable); about how to change things (because, you know, I'm not a tree). I've taken some steps to change things that I really (really!) need to change (physically and in my physical space). And in making those changes, I've had to acknowledge that some of the things which once "lit me up" and made me feel that I was fulfilling a mission, no longer do.
For example, my job no longer feeds my soul the way it used to. Where I used to find it rewarding, I now find it frustrating. I don't feel like I'm doing it well anymore. It makes me tired and sad a lot of the time. There are bright moments, certainly, and I love my company and coworkers, but I worry that unless I can find a way to change how I feel and approach my work, I'm not going to be able to do it for a long time.
It is not my mission. This I know for sure.
I have parented an amazing child who has flown the nest (for the most part) and rarely needs me anymore. Though I will always be her mom - here for her when she does need me, mothering her is not a daily activity.
It is no longer my mission.
I coached swimming for ten years and though I enjoyed it and loved our team, it was not my mission.
But the thing that has always made me feel the best, still does (hmmm... maybe Martha was right about that whole 'you're already living your mission whether you realize it or not' thing!). And that is, I feel my best when I write something that resonates with another person - whether it makes them laugh or cry or think or simply touches them in some way. I love getting feedback, usually via Facebook, as that's where I do most of my writing these days.
But I refuse to believe that writing good Facebook posts for a kind and generous audience (i.e. people I know) is my mission.
And now I have an idea. It involves writing. And other people. And helping. I don't know if it's my mission... but it's sure as hell more tangible than Pinterest house plans (damn it).
Stay tuned, peeps...
I want to believe I have a mission in life. I want to believe I'll find it before I die... like, years before I die, so I can actually fulfill it and not just lay back on my deathbed lamenting. "Well, shit. I really missed that boat!"
Martha says we're all probably already living our mission in some way, as it's in our nature (from birth) to gravitate toward it.
Yeah. Unless my mission is pinning house plans on Pinterest, I'm thinking I'm not living it yet.
She also uses the "Three N" method for figuring it out:
1) Notice what brings joy to your sensibilities; notice what "lights you up."
2) Narrow that field; look for the brightest light.
3) Name it (if you feel the need).
Sounds simple, right? Sounds like the advice every life/career coach gives.
My problem, though, is that all my lights are pretty dim these days. It's true. Let me list a few of the things that have "lit me up" lately:
1) Binge-watching 'Hoarders' on Netflix
2) Spending way too much money at the book fair (sometimes on duplicate books because I forgot I bought them last month) (and no, I am not a hoarder and my book issue has absolutely nothing to do with my Netflix binge. I swear. It's true. Shut up)
3) Making lists of all the things I need to do and then putting those things into my planner... only to ignore them
Not much of a mission in that list, eh? Well, unless my mission is to completely fail at Life... then I think I'm golden, man!
I'm not a tree.
I'm not, in fact, rooted in an unhappy place or space...
Unless I want to be.
And I don't think I want to be. But the truth is, I can't say I've been happy about where I am for, well, ever.
And whose fault is that? Hmmm, Diane? Whose fault is that?
I'm looking at you, Diane.
It's true, I have been experiencing a fair amount of existential angst of late... about my life and what I'm doing with it; about what makes me happy (and/or miserable); about how to change things (because, you know, I'm not a tree). I've taken some steps to change things that I really (really!) need to change (physically and in my physical space). And in making those changes, I've had to acknowledge that some of the things which once "lit me up" and made me feel that I was fulfilling a mission, no longer do.
For example, my job no longer feeds my soul the way it used to. Where I used to find it rewarding, I now find it frustrating. I don't feel like I'm doing it well anymore. It makes me tired and sad a lot of the time. There are bright moments, certainly, and I love my company and coworkers, but I worry that unless I can find a way to change how I feel and approach my work, I'm not going to be able to do it for a long time.
It is not my mission. This I know for sure.
I have parented an amazing child who has flown the nest (for the most part) and rarely needs me anymore. Though I will always be her mom - here for her when she does need me, mothering her is not a daily activity.
It is no longer my mission.
I coached swimming for ten years and though I enjoyed it and loved our team, it was not my mission.
But the thing that has always made me feel the best, still does (hmmm... maybe Martha was right about that whole 'you're already living your mission whether you realize it or not' thing!). And that is, I feel my best when I write something that resonates with another person - whether it makes them laugh or cry or think or simply touches them in some way. I love getting feedback, usually via Facebook, as that's where I do most of my writing these days.
But I refuse to believe that writing good Facebook posts for a kind and generous audience (i.e. people I know) is my mission.
- But storytelling does light me up - doing it in person or in writing.
- Connecting with and helping other people lights me up.
- Hearing other peoples' stories lights me up.
- Being creative lights me up.
- And yes, pinning house plans on Pinterest lights me up (but I really don't think that's going to take me anywhere. Damn it).
And now I have an idea. It involves writing. And other people. And helping. I don't know if it's my mission... but it's sure as hell more tangible than Pinterest house plans (damn it).
Stay tuned, peeps...
XO,
You are the mission - all the searching, the noticing, the trying. I think the idea of needing to know the specific reason for being on earth is one that leaves us frustrated. You're here because you are. The fact that you're inspiring, funny and able to communicate the way you do is a plus for the rest of us.
ReplyDeletePauline, thank you. That means more than you know. <3
DeleteMay I put this blog on the "worth reading" bar on my own blog?
DeleteOh my goodness! I'd be honored!
DeleteDone! And thank you.
ReplyDelete