Breathing Underwater

  A while back, I was scrolling Instagram and I landed on a post by a fitness coach I'd been following for a bit. I liked him initially because he really seemed to understand that for many of us, being fit isn't simply as easy as eating less and going to the gym. It can take Herculean effort that we don't always have because... well... Life. In a way that many other online coaches don't seem to understand, he gets how depression and illness and pain and plain old self-sabotage can impact health. He's no-nonsense, but also compassionate and kind. My sort of coach.  In this particular post, he said something I would hear him say many times over the course of the next few of months - he said that if you want your life to change, you have to show up for yourself. You have to show up for yourself.   I'll be honest; I didn't really know what he meant. I mean, if I really thought about it, I probably did, but I'd never really thought about it. So I did. Think a

  1. I started blogging back in 2008 and maintained one (if you accept that by 'maintained' I mean 'I wrote sporadically') for a decade (and it changed names once, from ' Diane's Addled Ramblings ' to 'Rambling Toward Clarity,' but for the record, although I rambled quite a lot, I never really made it to clarity, so I probably shouldn't have bothered changing the name).  2. In 2018, I started my current blog, at which (in which?) I've written even more sporadically, but since I really do love blogging (though I accept that you'd be hard-pressed to believe it, given my woeful lack of consistency), I've decided that 2024 will be the year I give it a real go again.  3. So here are a few things about me (that may or may not be interesting) for a whole new community of writers and readers (and perhaps a few old readers and lurkers, all of whom I love).  4. I am much older than I was when I started this endeavor and am coming up (far too so

  Today is the Winter Solstice - which has long been my favorite day of the year. At least it was until a few years ago when I was hard-pressed to find a day I even wanted to be in, let alone a favorite.  Near the end of 2019, I could feel myself spiraling into a depression that wound up being the worst I've ever experienced. Though I've dealt with depression in my life, I always believed it was situational - like when my father died or my marriage ended. What I've realized is that it only got worse during those situations, but it had been with me for the long haul. I never believed that. When I was younger, I always thought that depression was synonymous with hopelessness and I had never felt hopeless. I could always see the light at the end of the tunnel. I always believed things would get better. Ergo, I couldn't be depressed. I didn't realize there are degrees of depression. I didn't realize you could function in a way that appeared to be normal to most peop

 It's been so long since I've written a blog post, I actually forgot how to get into my dashboard to start a new one! Sheesh! Hello to anyone who might still be reading!! I doubt there are many, but that's OK. I figure I talk to myself so much, writing to myself isn't much different, is it?  Inspired by my cousin's annual Christmas letter, I've decided to pen a little 2023 recap missive myself. I used to really enjoy doing Christmas letters, back when I made my own Christmas cards, and actually, you know, wrapped presents (instead of just having them sent via Amazon). I've not always been a slacker. Mostly. I haven't. Really. Shut up.  Anyway... back to the missive!  2023 - it was a pretty good year for me overall, really. And I don't remember the last time I said that. But it was.  It started in England in January, for a long-awaited wedding and long-overdue catch-ups with family, both chance and chosen. Whoo whee, that trip was good for my soul! Th

Last night, based on a short, relatively benign comment on a friend's Facebook page, I was labeled as someone suffering from "Trump Derangement Syndrome." The person who said it doesn't know me at all and to my knowledge, we've never interacted before. Based on what he said, I think he probably creeped on my FB page, and from the precious little I believe he was able to see, I guess he assumed (and, in fact, actually said) that I had to come to this country in order to find a head of state upon whom I could focus my derangement . Erm... (also WTF?) Neither my friend nor I could figure out what on earth he was talking about. My friend told me this person is from the UK but has lived in the US for the past few years. He said this person told him he didn't vote for Trump, nor would he, so his comments (which also referenced cats...?) made even less sense than if he was a die-hard 45 supporter. (It's possible he drinks.) For the record, I do believe &q

It's Writer's Workshop time, so I hopped over to  Mama's Losin' It  to check out the prompts for this week. I decided to go with the first one: What do you miss most about being ten years younger than you are now? What do you miss the least? ____________________ Then as it was, then again it will be And though the course may change sometimes Rivers always reach the sea Blind stars of fortune, each have several rays On the wings of maybe, down in birds of prey Kind of makes me feel sometimes, didn't have to grow But as the eagle leaves the nest, it's got so far to go Changes fill my time, baby, that's alright with me In the midst I think of you, and how it used to be From 'Ten Years Gone' by Led Zeppelin ____________________ While some people keep journals or old diaries or appointment books to enable them to look back to see what they were doing or thinking in the past, I have a blog. It's a pretty cool reso